Town of Salem Game Forums

Just jokes about roles that are funny, significant, or other such criteria in situations.

Example:
"So a Doctor, a Jailor, a Serial Killer, and an Executioner walk into a bar..."

Eh...

An escort and a consort walk into a bar. They do the exact same thing, and the detective can't figure out who is what.

GF, Forger, and Witch walk into a bar. They all get shot because they're too drunk to recognize Vet bait.

A disguiser walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "What can I get myself today?"

Witch walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "What can I do for you?"

A Jailor walks into a bar?

The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?"

The Jailor is going to execute you at the end of the night.

"Your Role."

A Sheriff and a Jailor walk into a bar.

The Sheriff points to a guy muttering to himself at a side table. "That Transporter's a dick."

"Oh, why's that?" asks the Jailor.

"Just watch. Barkeep, a pint of your finest please. Keep the change."

"Certainly, Mr Sheriff." says the bartender, pouring a cold beer into a fresh glass. He skims the froth from the top and places it in front of the Transporter. "Your beer, sir."

The Sheriff sighs. "Same damn thing happens every night."

"No way."

"Oh, it gets worse. You see, after I've spent all night here sober at my own expense, I'll go home with a bunch of flowers for the missus. She'll give me this big romantic look and get changed into something skimpy, then she'll go over to his house and roleblock him. That's why he's looking so happy."

"Dude," says the Jailor, "that's terrible."

"You think that's terrible? You know the Investigator from number 13, right? He came over a couple of nights ago and spent the whole evening hitting on me, thinking I was an Escort."

The Jailor looks mortified. "I can't believe you've been putting up with this. Let me jail him tonight and have a word."

"Nah, that's okay," says the Sheriff with a mischevous smile. "I've got it all in hand...this morning I lynched the Jester."

A Vigilante and a Veteran walk into a bar.

They have a drink and introduce themselves. Without warning, the Vigilante pulls out a pistol and shoots the Veteran in the chest, killing him.

Blowing the smoke from his gun, he drops a short note on the Veteran's chest saying "Must be a Disguiser. Everyone knows Vets can't make visits."

A transporter walks into a bar.

Wait, did I say walk? I meant he transported himself into the bar.

Unfortunately, the serial killer, werewolf, GF, arsonist, jester, veteran, vigilante, and Jailor were all there.

The werewolf then proceeded to kill everyone.

A Medium walks into a bar.

Oh wait, no he didn't, as he is apparently unable to leave his home at any point!

A forger walks into a bar.

The bartender gives the forger their drink.

The bill is free.

A Mafioso, Blackmailer and Godfather walk into a bar.
They notice the spy following them.
Instead of killing him, they just yell:
Hey spy!
The spy still doesn know who the mafia is.

A jailor and a doctor walk into a bar
The Jailor asks the doctor: So, what do you do, what is your role?
I'm the doctor, I heal people.
The Jailor Punches the doctor in the face and pulls his gun. Then he asks: What are your attributes?
The doctor doesnt even know what the hell is the jailor talking about. He just respond:
I have a Diploma and...
YOUR ATTRIBUTES!
I have a very long...
YOU WERE EXECUTED BY THE JAILOR!
YOU HAVE DIED!

Investigator walks into a bar. After a few drinks, he gets kicked out for accusing Medium, Vig, Bodyguard and Escort of being the Godfather.

Arsonist then burns down the bar. +11 ELO.

A jester walks into a bar.

The bartender says: "There is jest no way that I'm gonna give you your drink. I'm afraid of dying tonight.

A Godfather, a Janitor, a Disguiser and a SK walk into a BAR...

Spoiler: The Veteran gets congratulated the next day.

three escorts walk into a bar.


the fourth one ducked.

A homeless man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, and then climbs onto a stool and shouts, "I'm a Survivor!"

The Bartender ducks behind the counter.
The Vigilante, the Mafioso, and the Godfather all point their guns at him.
The Arsonist snickers and pulls out a match.
The Serial Killer discreetly draws his knife while walking over.
The Jailor grabs his cuffs and begins to approach the man.
The Sheriff straightens his badge and follows the Jailor.
The Investigator takes out his magnifying glass and begins to study him.
The Lookout moves closer to see what's going on.
The Witch begins casting an incantation.
The Janitor starts sweeping up the mess.
The Blackmailer grabs his trusty duct tape and heads over to shut him up.
The Disguiser grabs his tools and gets to work.
The Framer and Forger pick up their briefcases and sit down nearby.
The Doctor decides to help the poor old man, and tries to diagnose him.

The Mayor clicks his tongue disapprovingly, as gunshots and screams of agony fill the room.
"Really, Bill? You do this every Tuesday!"
The Veteran picks up his drink and hands the Bartender a generous tip, then takes his leave.

So a Serial Killer, and a Doctor walk into a bar.

After hours of bragging about their accomplishments, certificates, and patient horror stories, they give each other their fair wells and leave.

John Proctor died last night.
He was stabbed by a Serial Killer.
His role was Doctor.

An Amnesiac and a Survivor walk in a bar.

The Amnesiac walks into the bar and says "Ummm... what drink was I going to order again?" while the Survivor says: "Please don't hurt me."

The bartender then asks, despite feeling awkward:

"Alright, which one of ya fellas is the real evil role?"

A Retributionist did not walk into the bar.

He raised it.

A Spy follows the mafia into a bar.
He sits well away from the table the mafia sits at
The Consort proceeds to get up and go dance for the Spy.
After somebody screamed and everyone escaped the Spy asks himself.
"Was it a Consort or an Escort?"

A blackmailer walks into a bar.

An arsonist walks into a bar. The bartender hands him a beer.
Some buttons appear in front of the Arsonist. Who will get the beer?
>Sheriff.
>Bartender
>Arsonist.
>Spy.
The arsonist selects himself.
The whole town bursts into flames.

This should do it

Spoiler: A Sheriff walks into a bar.
He gets publicly executed in the bar for finding too many people NS.

An Investigator walks into a bar.
He gets so drunk he cannot tell apart two beautiful women from an old guy with a wagon.

A Lookout walks into a bar.
He watches 2 people walk up to his friend. One of them carries a bloody knife and viciously attacks him. The other performed life-saving surgery on him. But who was who? The wasted lookout did not know.

A Spy walks into a bar.
A Godfather walks out of the bar.

An Escort cannot walk into a bar because they have already committed suicide at this point.

A Medium walks into a bar.
Then joins the Escort.

A Retributionist walks into a bar.
When he could be using his mystical powers on all the victims of Salem.
Nah, screw that.

A Mayor walks into a bar.
This explains every Mayor ever in Town of Salem.

A Doctor walks into a bar.
Sees a wasted Mayor and decides the old bag isn't worth it.

A Bodyguard walks into a bar.
Gets so drunk that he feels the need to kill himself after saving a townie's life.

A Vigilante walks into a bar.
He sees how much the Mayor drinks and decides to double down on it.

A Veteran walks into a bar.
Then the center of town to proclaim himself as the Jailretriguard.

A Jailor walks into a bar.
Kidnaps the bartender and executes him for serving the wrong drink.

A Bartender walks into a bar and tries to hand the Veteran a drink.
He was drunk and alert and shot the poor Veteran