Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Cancelled :(

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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby sunfirejr » Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:32 pm

"I'm unsure, let me count..." (can I get a count of all the people going into the inn?)
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby squosher » Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:56 pm

(for simplicities sake I'm going to say that all the NPC's will make there own arrangements in their own time so we can ignore them, so just all the characters)

You count six of you.
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby sunfirejr » Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:55 pm

"aight so i think just us 6 need rooms, how much do you think we would need to spend"
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby squosher » Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:08 pm

"That'll be 4 gold pieces."
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby sunfirejr » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:23 pm

"i can cover it, but, i would rather we split the fare"
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby DJVoxel » Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:39 pm

The hooded figure steps forward and places a gold coin on the bar.
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby TheLastEvangelist » Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:31 am

Silas rolls his eyes and calmly places a gold coin on top of the hooded figure's coin.
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby sunfirejr » Wed Mar 25, 2020 12:59 pm

zanxe puts down the other two coins
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby squosher » Wed Mar 25, 2020 2:23 pm

"Thank you"

He briefly explained the arrangements, what rooms you are in, meal times, ect.

You then see a ever slight look of concern wash over his face as he seems to contemplate saying something for a moment, and then seemingly decide against it.

"I hope you enjoy your stay here."
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby sunfirejr » Wed Mar 25, 2020 3:55 pm

"i hope so aswell." with that, i have no idea what to except head to the rooms
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby squosher » Thu Mar 26, 2020 12:27 pm

As you are all leaving to go to your rooms he calls out to you.

"Hey, uh... I know this is very rude of me but could you help out with something that has been troubling me?"
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby sunfirejr » Thu Mar 26, 2020 12:56 pm

"I would like to inquire what it is first."
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby squosher » Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:14 pm

"I don't know what exactly, but something strange is going on in Harrowhill. A week ago, Arin Farlight, the head of one of our mining operations, died in an accident. Since then, miners involved in the operation have been disappearing.

Over the last few days, six miners have gone missing in total. These miners are Harrowhills livelihood. I don't know what we would do without them.

Please, find out what happened to these miners."

(*)
Last edited by squosher on Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby squosher » Sat Mar 28, 2020 6:01 pm

"I know its a lot to ask of strangers, but would you mind staying here for a few days and trying to figure out what is going on around town and what happened to the missing people."

"I will not charge you anything for staying here longer, and I'm sure I can put together a reward for once you get back to me."

"What do you think?"

-----


(Bump)
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby sunfirejr » Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:17 am

(yeah im waiting for someone else)
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby TheLastEvangelist » Sun Mar 29, 2020 12:01 pm

"Sure, I guess. I'm fine with staying here longer than we have to."
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby squosher » Mon Mar 30, 2020 9:26 am

"Good, well If you need somewhere to start you could always talk to Dornan Lorren, he was friends with one of the miners who went missing. You could also ask around town or talk to Lyra Morningfall at the general goods store, she generally knows what's going on around town."
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby squosher » Wed Apr 01, 2020 2:52 am

You keep discussing for a bit longer and he gives the details of where to find these people. You also get his name, which is Lukhal Hardcloak he wishes you good luck on your investigations and you part ways for now. Eventually going to your rooms and preparing to sleep for tonight.

-----


(If anyone has anything they would like to do, say now. If not we will end this chapter)
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Prologue

Postby squosher » Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:21 pm

You go to bed and have your nights rest as your thoughts drift to your companions, the past day's journey, and what to do tomorrow.
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Intermission 1

Postby squosher » Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:24 pm

Size 1 text to push title down
Intermission 1


Time for ooc talk. Also people not playing can talk if they like.

What are people's thoughts so far?
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Intermission 1

Postby Blackajack » Thu Apr 02, 2020 2:45 am

I'm both sad and kinda glad I dropped out as I probably wouldn't be able to keep up with the pace of this game. That being said it looks rather concrete.
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Intermission 1

Postby squosher » Thu Apr 02, 2020 4:03 am

Honestly i'm kinda struggling with finding the right pace. I'm never sure when people don't respond to something whether it's because I haven't given enough time or that they don't want to respond. I feel like I'm guessing at the moment so if the people playing think i'm going to quickly (or slowly) please tell me.

When it comes to the combat I think I can speed things up a bit, by doing player's turns in parallel like I did on the last turn of the combat.

Also just a moment to appreciate how Scorpio deleting his account broke all my links by making the post numbering really buggy. Anyone know what happened with him?
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Intermission 1

Postby sunfirejr » Thu Apr 02, 2020 7:13 am

no idea what happened with scorpio

owever i feel like most of the players aren't checking the forums enough so i didn't want to hog all the posts to myself
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Intermission 1

Postby DJVoxel » Thu Apr 02, 2020 8:08 am

squosher wrote:Honestly i'm kinda struggling with finding the right pace. I'm never sure when people don't respond to something whether it's because I haven't given enough time or that they don't want to respond. I feel like I'm guessing at the moment so if the people playing think i'm going to quickly (or slowly) please tell me.

When it comes to the combat I think I can speed things up a bit, by doing player's turns in parallel like I did on the last turn of the combat.

Also just a moment to appreciate how Scorpio deleting his account broke all my links by making the post numbering really buggy. Anyone know what happened with him?


I think the main issue right now is you're actually not going fast enough. You're attempting to create character interaction when most of it that people wanted to do was already done at the very beginning.

For example:

squosher wrote:You return to the cart and continue your journey through the forest. After 20 minutes or so the road opens out, exposing a river crossing under the road followed by an upwards slope climbing between the two closest hills. You can see the rays of the evening sun fall on the trees behind you, your own position eclipsed by the slope ahead. Urdur speaks again.

"Its just up here. You'll see it shortly."


Why pause here for the characters to react? There's nothing to react to. It should have been combined with the next post:

squosher wrote:As you say this, the caravan completes the majority of the climb and you find yourself looking at a sunset over a small mining town. Amongst the buildings there are a few groups of townsfolk in conversation but in the most part the town is empty.

"Welcome to Harrowhill."


And even here, I would have either given a larger, more verbose description to instill a sense of wonder and beauty, as otherwise there is nothing to react to, or just combined it with:

squosher wrote:As you get into the town. Urdur directs you to Harrowhills sole tavern, the Hidden Pig Inn. And then parts ways with you for now.

"I'll just make the arrangements for the wagons, get some rest. Tomorrow is the same arrangement as always, meet outside at the usual time if you are still heading with us. See you all later."

-----


The Inn isn't fancy but is well kept. It has a bar area with a separate dining area to the side. As you enter it is fairly empty, the only people inside being the innkeeper and presumably one of the regulars. The inkeeper is a blond haired dwarven man who is currently behind the bar. The other person, at in the corner of the room with a drink, is a male elf who is looks old, even for someone with some elven heritage.

(edit: Clarify wording to remove the long confusing sentence and make it clear that there were only two people in the room, the barman and the elven regular.)


And this post chooses to take an opportunity to react away from the players. As soon as they arrive, the players should be allowed to explore the town however they want, not be forced to immediately head to the inn. Heck, my character probably wouldn't touch the inn if he can find a temple of Lux in the area because he can just mooch off their resources, but I wasn't given the opportunity. I know you want to give the players their quest hook in the tavern, but if that was the case, either start them in the tavern, with a brief description of the events leading up to their arrival in town and why they're all together instead of railroading the plot.

Heck, because you railroaded us like this, to me, at least, it feels like that initial setup and combat with the goblins was meaningless because we could have just started in the tavern. I was expecting to be able to wander around town and learn about the personal struggles of the townsfolk, the the rumors going around and that would be the plot hook.

---

Which brings me to the second main issue: The plot hook is too vague and has no stakes.

squosher wrote:"I don't know what exactly, but something strange is going on in Harrowhill. Strange things have been happening here. People leaving town at unusual times times, people going missing without explanation, rumors of curses and haunting.

All i'm saying is that something is up, and I need someone to find out what it is."


Here, you don't give us an indication of what the guy wants us to do in very clear terms. Because he says "Strange things have been happening here. People leaving town at unusual times times, people going missing without explanation, rumors of curses and haunting.", which is 3 different plot hooks rolled into one with no action word to tell the players what to do with the information, followed by "something is up, and I need someone to find out what it is." which still doesn't give your players any immediate goal.

You do remedy this somewhat in the next post:

squosher wrote:"I know its a lot to ask of strangers, but would you mind staying here for a few days and trying to figure out what is going on around town and what happened to the missing people."

"I will not charge you anything for staying here longer, and I'm sure I can put together a reward for once you get back to me."

"What do you think?"

-----


(Bump)


"figure out what is going on around town and what happened to the missing people." helps to clarify the goal a bit, but still doesn't give any stakes and is still fairly vague.

Your next post, once we've accepted the job, which is still vague and uninteresting due to a lack of clarity and stakes, finally clears things up:

squosher wrote:"Good, well If you need somewhere to start you could always talk to Dornan Lorren, he was friends with one of the miners who went missing. You could also ask around town or talk to Lyra Morningfall at the general goods store, she generally knows what's going on around town."


Literally, all you had to have him say to give the players a clear goal and stakes is the following: "The miners are going missing. It's hurting the town's main livelihood. If nothing happens soon then people will have to leave the town to find work elsewhere. I need you to find the miners. I'll pay you."

This gives a clear goal: Find the Miners
Clear stakes: The townsfolk will be forced to leave
and a reward: Money

If you don't want it to be just the miners that are missing, then give the quest giver a personal stake in the matter. "My daughter/friend/spouse/co-worker is one of the missing people. Find them."

This also sets up a clear goal and clear stakes.

What you gave us is passable. It works. But it's hard to drive the player and their characters to do something vague, especially if there are no clear stakes around what will happen if the players choose to not accept or fail the request.

---

Everything else thus far is fine, despite the few kinks we had in the combat encounter. I feel like once we get out and into the swing of things with questioning NPCs, combat encounters and dungeon exploration, things will clear up a bit, and I still want to commend you for taking the plunge to DM on the forums. It doesn't help that scorpio's account got snapped and that some of the players have been inactive, but I think things will only get better from here.

It may help to set up a "session time" so that we can schedule an hour, hour and a half, etc. during our day to really focus on playing, because then we can have fast reactions to what we've written, instead of feeling like we're not getting anywhere due to the long wait times between responses.
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Re: Beneath the Turnstone Peaks - Intermission 1

Postby TheLastEvangelist » Thu Apr 02, 2020 12:01 pm

Yeah, most of the time when you're waiting for a response, I have no idea what to say.
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