The Thread of Sad Leavings and Glorious Returns 2.0

[Technetium]

/glomps oliy

Also, going off what he said about turning off avatars and sigs, you can also turn off images within posts.

[GifttheGiver]

YAY OILY'S BACK
/hug /hug /hug

[chitownmvp01]

Welcome back, Oliy!

I hope you enjoyed your trip!

[Nellyfox]

Sarah is really going to get you for that.

[Alicitzen]

Sarah is really going to get you for that.

Will do.

[murat1996]

Sarah is really going to get you for that.

Uhhh what?



Wb oliy

[ICECLIMBERS]

Sounds like a fun trip. Welcome back.

[parkerparkour]

bbl

[chitownmvp01]

bbl

Bye Parker.

[GifttheGiver]

I'm leaving for a month or so. See you guys later

[Technetium]

We'll miss you. I hope things will turn out okay.

[LevinSnakesRise]

So after almost 2 weeks of hiatus, I've returned temporarily, and I shouldn't even be here right now. I was going to be gone for almost a month.

(TL;DR is at bottom if you don't want to read this brick wall below.)

The reason I left is because I've had a lot going on. A lot that I can't possibly explain without going into too many details, and creating the biggest brick wall of text you guys have ever seen made on this forum explaining what is what, but I will try to explain what has happened without going into too many details. (No promises.)

So first of all, if any of you know me well enough, you know my boyfriend is in the army right now, doing Basic Training. He graduates next month, and will go straight into AIT. I had planned on attending his graduation, but I have recently been reached out to for a job opportunity, which I have been looking for since May when I was unfairly let-go because my previous boss was a racist bigot. Finding one this close means I probably won't attend his graduation like I promised. I know deep-down he would tell me to take the job over going to see him graduate, and go to their Family Day, but it really kills me on the inside knowing I probably won't be able to go. It's a new store that's opening up way on the other side of Town, and so they likely will be finished and have me start working right as the Family Day and Graduation take place.
Another reason I've been gone is because I've been depressed, mainly because he's gone, but more recently because of what I mentioned previously, I won't be able to attend his graduation. I wake up, and immediately I wish I hadn't. I am put down every morning by my father. For the past 3 months I've been working hard to find a job, and every day he'd call me a lazy piece of shit. I'd wake up at 5 in the morning (if I slept the previous night) and apply for jobs for hours on end, some more than once, and all available locations around me that are reasonable, as my car isn't reliable. When I'd be done, I'd come on here and get to work, replying to threads, testing bugs for Brandon and Blake, and even went through the ridiculous amount of threads in Bug Reports. There was over 70 pages. Closer to 80. I want to say 78, so 78 * 25 threads per page = 1950 threads I had to interact with in some way, either by moving them to Not Bugs or Fixed Bugs after confirming there were previous mentions of this bug being fixed in another thread, and it was never moved for whatever reason, merging with the countless (and I do mean countless) upon countless duplicates sitting in Bug Reports if they were still valid, and marking them for myself and Brandon in a Spreadsheet on Gmail so he could put them into JIRA (a bug tracking software used) and test them. I would then put countless hours into player reports. We get thousands a day. I know we constantly say that, and some people think it isn't true, but I'm here to tell you we aren't bullshitting. It's literally in the thousands, and there's no way for any of us (or all of us) to get through all of them. My order of dealing with reports was take care of the Recent Reports that were valid, ignore the ones that weren't and let them go, and then look at the list of Problem Players. Before I took a break, I would keep this number below 800 players. These are players who have 10+ reports on their account in-game, regardless whether valid or not. When I first saw the list, it was over 1000 players. I would bust my ass every week to keep it below 800, and after taking this near 2 week break, it went from less than 800 to over 1200. It's ridiculous how many reports people get per day, and it's overwhelming, if I am to be honest. Then I would eat when it'd come to dinner, something simple so I could go back to working on reports and keeping an eye on the forum, so probably ramen, or just go get a pack of crackers and sit there and eat them and that would be my dinner. Anyways, I would be up for almost 24 hours at a time, and if I did get sleep, it'd only be 2-5 hours a day. On the occasional rare day, I'd sleep all day because I didn't feel like getting out of bed because I felt like a big piece of shit worth nothing, and didn't want to be started on by my father. He would act like I wasn't trying, unknown to him, I would always be on the house phone, calling places trying to talk to General Managers, or to Hiring Managers (who apparently, some Hiring Managers aren't allowed to make hiring decisions directly....what the fuck is the point of them being a Hiring Manager if they can't make the decision directly?) and asking about open positions and trying to get a job.

A third reason I've been away is because when I first got started, even before I was offered if I wanted to be a Moderator, I was helping people because I loved to help people, and I still do love helping people. I've got many, many years of moderation under my belt under countless websites, games, etc. I am even the Community Manager (Brandon's job here) for a company, and yes, I do get paid, but I am limited to 5 hours a week, and I've been spending most of my time here, so I've only been getting like 2-10 hours instead of 20 hours a month, like I'm allowed, because this community needs so much work done to it. A lot more than the company I work for, which is simple and easy, and I don't have to constantly warn someone for breaking the rules, and don't have to ban literally hundreds of accounts a day, whether it's a temporary ban, or a permanent one.
However, I have lost the passion I once had for the game, and the community. It's not exactly because of the community, or the game isn't fun anymore, but because I'm shit on every day, both here and in in real life. I can't tell you how many PMs I get a day saying I'm shit, I should go kill myself, and I just delete them and keep quiet. You have no idea how many times I get shit on when I help out on Twitter (which I also stopped during my break) and harassed by people who are upset I banned them because they broke the rules, and think they are entitled, spoiled brats. Sure, at first, it meant nothing, but after almost 2 years of this, and the constant rumors being spread about me, behind my back and eventually making it all the way around to my face, I admit it is effecting me. Being called every name in the book anyone can think of, after a while, you think you'd become numb to it, but I haven't. I started out numb, but because of my current mental state, it's gone backwards, and I'm now getting effected by it all. I know a lot of you don't like me. Sometimes you act like you do one day, and the next day, you hate my guts. It's fine. You don't have to like me. I became a Moderator to do a job, and I've been doing it. Sure I've been blunt, sure I've been called out, I really don't care, because in the end, I've done my part, and been helping the community and the game, banning disruptive users, etc. Everyone thinks I'm a joke. I'm quite aware of how more than half of the community views me. I hear everything that is said about me, whether I see it myself for those of you who are willing to be up-front with me like I am most of the time, and blunt, or I'm told by someone else that so-and-so called me this or that, or they said this or that. Believe it or not, this is actually normal as a staff member of any website or game. We get shit on constantly. It's sad that this is normal, but since I started moderating websites back when I was 13 (8 years ago), this has been the norm. I've made enemies (the guy who constantly makes accounts and getting around every ban I give him personally, using homophobic slurs, impersonating me, for example), I've made friends, and I've made acquaintances. It's all part of the job. I couldn't care less what you guys think of me when I'm gone. You can shit-talk me until the cows come home, because I know some of you will do it, cause some of you will be glad I'm gone, some might be sad, if I'm lucky by the time I'm gone, I've made some amends, and some of you will just be like "eh". Regardless, it was a good run while it lasted.

I will miss all of you when I do leave, which is currently undecided, even those of you who do hate my guts and always will, but I thought I'd make this post since I came back. I guess I will bother making a post when I actually leave, or I may just leave again without a word, like I did this time. The others didn't even know until I brought it up to them that I was on break.

Well crap, I made a long brick wall text anyways...I tried at least.

So yeah, I'm back for the time being. Gonna try to do what I can while I'm here and catch everything up cause....ya know, that's my job.

TL;DR - I left cause I was depressed and tired of bullshit, and I'm back temporarily. Will be leaving probably permanently soon. Currently unsure of when.

P.S: Sorry for the shitty formatting and seemingly random subject-changes. I'm not good at expressing myself like this. So apologies. Go ahead and add it to the total list of complaints about me.

[oliy]

I've made longer
I have never heard any rumors regarding you, and if you do leave permanently, I wish you good luck in the future, and I hope your relationship will remain strong even with the conflict.
But don't think your work doesn't go unappreciated. Your dedication has lead me, and quite a few others, to think you're the best moderator on this forum (sorry Nelly.)
I was gone for the past two weeks too so I didn't know you were gone, so this came as a surprise to me.
If you need a break in your busy life, take it if you need it, but if you want to stay connected, just stay more social. I've found this forum as less of a chore since I used Skype and connected with a variety of people here, or became more active in the Arcade, as things are more fun.
I just hope whatever happens ends up well for you, and to see you go would be a huge loss, but there's no need to feel obliged to this. Do what you want to do.

[murat1996]

Noooooooooooo Naru!!!!!


Its okay, job and BF are more important then a silly mafia game, so go for it,and let your dreams be real!

[PurpleSidewalk1]

Awww Naru is leaving... this sucks. Naru is great.

[Alicitzen]

You better breach 10,000, before you go or I will hold nothing but disappointment in you bb

[GifttheGiver]

So, I know I'm breaking a rule, but I'm returning.

Leaving really made me upset. I felt so disconnected with some of the great people I've met here and I didn't even talk to my real life friends. So, I came back.

[Technetium]

I don't see how it's breaking a rule, you thought you were going to be gone.

Welcome back, Gift.

/hugs

[Alicitzen]

Aight thread boss here.

We're already derailing the thread as it is so just stop

I couldnt give a shit honestly about the legitmacy of the leaving.
I do give a shit about thread derailing into drama.
Cut the crap.

[chitownmvp01]

I've made longer
I have never heard any rumors regarding you, and if you do leave permanently, I wish you good luck in the future, and I hope your relationship will remain strong even with the conflict.
But don't think your work doesn't go unappreciated. Your dedication has lead me, and quite a few others, to think you're the best moderator on this forum (sorry Nelly.)
I was gone for the past two weeks too so I didn't know you were gone, so this came as a surprise to me.
If you need a break in your busy life, take it if you need it, but if you want to stay connected, just stay more social. I've found this forum as less of a chore since I used Skype and connected with a variety of people here, or became more active in the Arcade, as things are more fun.
I just hope whatever happens ends up well for you, and to see you go would be a huge loss, but there's no need to feel obliged to this. Do what you want to do.

@Oliy Here's an example of someone against Naru.

Also, the Arcade is quite addicting. It was hard for me to get away from it.

@Naru I'm not aware of people opposed to you. I don't use Twitter though. Do what's best for you. But for deciding to go to a job interview or your boyfriend's graduation, I recommend going to the job interview, knowing that you may not get a job offer again anytime soon or ever. I'm sure your boyfriend will be understanding of your decision. Your life comes first. If you decide to leave the forums permanently, it was nice knowing you, you did a great job as a GMod. Thank you for everything.

So, I know I'm breaking a rule, but I'm returning.

Leaving really made me upset. I felt so disconnected with some of the great people I've met here and I didn't even talk to my real life friends. So, I came back.

Welcome Back!

[Najika]

I'm sorry that you're leaving naru,

I just couldn't help myself and I wanted to thank you for everything you have done thus far. I can only imagine what you must do everyday for the forum.
I hope everything works out for you and that you can get a job and you'll manage to attend your boyfriends graduation.
I'm sorry about all the horrible things you get everyday and I can only hope the good can one day overcome the bad.
Everything you have done has been greatly appreciated. It was a pleasure having you join one of my games (do you remember that? it was pretty cool, I doubt I'll forget it).


Thank you naru, we will miss you.

[Arckas]

Deleted some stuff derailing.

Rule of thumb: You can't say I'm back if you never left.

If you decide after you were very sure that you are not going to leave that you'll stay after all, just continue without regard. If they care enough, users will know that you are staying just be your behavior, not words. Just quietly ask for your post to be deleted by a mod if it concerns you, but ultimetly don't worry about it. Just don't derail the thread, that isn't cool.


To people derailing the thread: please stop yourselves. This thread is not for that. Take it up with Sarah if you must, that's more effective.

[PokemonKidRyan]

Naru, many people here have been touched because of how you are as a person. You're an amazing mod and an exceptional person in general. I regret not speaking to you much now, as you are really nice and you deserve for your dreams to come true. I'm glad to have seen you around here and you will be missed by so many. There are some people against you, but unfortunately that happens to many good people. Haters are gonna hate. However, the haters are by far the minority on here.

I wish you best luck in the future and I do understand that you want to pursue some things in life and modding here may be a bit too much for you when combined. However, I think I also speak on behalf of others when I saw, we are going to miss you and it would be great to have you back again. Taking a break from these forums could be a good idea, however, it would be fantastic to see you still here a bit, as a regular forum user and then you can relax on here a bit, with people who do like you which are the majority of users on here, I believe. Furthermore, if you still came here a bit, you could prioritise your life with your BF and your job. make your dreams come true Naru. I wish you all the best no matter what, but I would love to still see you here sometimes <3

[NDM]

I just got back from camp. No wifi for a week.

[oliy]

ohi NDM

@Chit I know some people dislike Naru, especially with hateful alts, but I didn't say nobody disliked him. He should know most people that understand his work like him.