A Treatise on the Virtues of Solanum Tuberosum L.

Post anything that doesn't belong in any other forum.

A Treatise on the Virtues of Solanum Tuberosum L.

Postby Cabohhh » Mon Aug 16, 2021 8:32 am

The Solanum Tuberosum plant, or the “potato”, is undeniably the best vegetable amongst all others. This starchy tuber is extremely versatile, able to be cooked in a variety of ways (french fried, mashed, hashed, bashed, crashed, blanched, ranched, au gratin, waffle-cut, deep-fried, boiled, baked, etc.). The addition of the potato to any savory dish elevates the overall quality, and will enhance the quality of life of the recipient. The starches of the potato can also be used in various sauces, dishes, and doughs, making it extremely useful in modern-day cooking. Potatoes can be found in cuisines all around the world, for example, in Italian cuisine, potatoes are used in gnocchi. In Indian cuisine, potatoes are often put in curries, samosas, and Vada Pav. In Lovecraftian rituals, Phrygians attempt to commune by [REDACTED] potatoes to achieve [REDACTED], therefore summoning H̴̛̛͚̩͔̘̦̻̑̇̇̌͐̈̌̈́̚z̵̘̽͑̎̈́͑̂̽͛̒̈́̾͗̄͂͘͠͠͝͝i̸̗̜͚̼͛̋͗̐͌̀̓̒͒̍̿̌͆̉͐͗̔̉̎̌̓͊̕̚͝ṳ̷͕̫͎̤͚͈̀̒̍͂̂̽̇͒̍̿̕̕͝͝l̸̢̩͚͇͇̭̪͉̮̩̱͙͖̦͉͇̫̦̬̎̓̔̅̽̍̔͒̒̈́̈́̋͠ͅq̵̳͈̠͛͌̑̀͌̎̃̾̌̎̈́̓̎͆̊͐͋͌̓̐̔̚͝ų̵̢̨̲̖̝͍̫̦͙͓̥̞͚͉̀̇͛̓̂o̶̧̦̗̻̭̓́͗̉̓̾̾͐̑̿̒͑̆̿̄̈́͘͠͝ì̶̥͚̣͉̠̹̻̯̟͍͙̼̔̍͑̂͊̔̾g̴̭͇͎̘̝̥̻̗̟̘̤̔̈͜ͅm̸̨̡̨̢̲̺͔̥̙͚̞̮̜͔̲͑͌͂͒̅͂̑͐̀̊̅̾̏̊̏̽̿͝͠͝͠ņ̶̡̣͓̬̥̐̏̔̏̊̒z̴̧̧̛̰̱̦̬̜͔̯̘̼͉͇̘͍̩̣͇̤̺͎̤̫͖̳̿̇͂̎͛̒̈́̉͑̓̋̈́́͋̂̈́͐̋̕͝͝͝͝h̸̢̡̨̛͎̯̣̱̭̼̣͙̼̫̦͔̳̜̾̒̈́̈́͝ͅa̷̧̛͇͔̠͔̪̖̪͓̲͍̠̣̘͓̐̅́̿͂͊͜͝ḥ̷̻͎́̀̀͌̂͌̀̉͂̅͛̽͛̒͘͘

They are also very tough when uncooked, meaning that they make for good ammunition for catapults, trebuchets, air bazookas, etc. Because they are biodegradable, committing murder with a potato is very useful, because then you have a weapon you can eat and/or use as compost. If your potato is bloody via bludgeoning/spontaneous hemorrhaging, the haemoglobin gives a certain metallic taste that varies in desirability depending on the person.

You can also opt to lob the potato at relatives, street performers, dunk tanks, and really fucking annoying children if necessary. With the addition of a hand torch or cremator oven, you can also play a literal version of Hot Potato with the potato. If you cut a shape out with a potato, you can make stamps. Due to their hardy nature, you can also use potatoes as holders for objects such as:
-incense
-cell phones
-baby teeth
-makeup mirrors
-a copy of Edgar Allen Poe's "T̶̡̧̛͍̼̩͍͇̙͇̘̱̰͎̫̼̗͌́̈́͒̍̓͒̾͋Ḧ̷̡̝̘̜͔͇̺́̅̾̾̒͂̽̇̏̒̏͘͝͝Ẻ̷̡̛̬̗̺̙͎͙̜̘̥͎̩̼̳̰̹̫̬̫̜̘̟̝͗̽̌̊̌̅̍̋̏͒̿͘ ̴̢̱̥͈̯̦̪͚̞͈͉͔̰̪̯̝͆̈́̓̎̉͜͝C̷͍̘̠̪͍̤̄͂̎̔͌Á̵̡̧̢̡̦̮̩̼͙̭̰̼̻̱̘̌̈̊̏̇͜ͅͅȘ̵̛̞̝͎̝͐͂̑̓̏͂́͒͐̆̌̈̋͑̓Ṫ̵̨̡̛͔̩͉̙̳̥̖͍̖̤̮͙̣͈͈̲̜́̽̅͑̐́̈͂̎́͋̈́͌͊̉̅̚͝͝͝ͅͅ ̵̢̡̱̘̖͍̞̻̭͕̣̆̌̇̀͛̇̈̈̀́̓́̋͂̑̋͐͘̚͘͝͝ͅƠ̶̯̰̪̭͍͓͊̐̓̋́̆̚͜͜͝F̶̡̮̮̗̜̗̩̜͓̪̳̖̯̆̉̂̓̕̚͜ ̷̜͇̘̘̳̠̾̈́̇̐́̅̍̒͝͝A̸̢̛͎̰̝̳̳̝͕͍̩̳̝̔͗͆̍̿̊̓̚͜͜͝M̶̛͔̪̬̬̟̣̗̠̰͓̮͔̼̙̘̜̩͓̩̝̫̜̜̒̾̓̒̏͆̉̏̉̈́͘̕͝͠O̶̢̨̳̗̜̩̝̥̩̲̞͙̲̗̱̳̮͈̝̱̦̭̪̳̝͗̄̑͛̇̆N̶̡̧̹͍̹̳̻̮̩̝̜͉̞̩̜͇̜̠̯̒̑̍̾́̇̈̀̓̈́̂̾̃̔̆̊̚̚͜͜͠T̴̲̰͙̤̫̠̓̆͂̊̾̌̿̑̑̈͘I̴̧̡̦̝̰̪̲͚͓̻̺͍̘̗͍͕̜͖͖̽̈́̈́͜͝͠͝͝L̶̥̤͈̦̜̥̒͐̽̿̆̓͗͌̎̑̎͌̅L̸̢͕̦̺̤̄A̷̡̛̻̼̎̏͋̄̋̌͌̔̉͛̈́̍̐́͒͑͒̋͋̄̚͠D̷̡̨͓̰͈͉̱̜̞͎̩̙͚͎̯̅͠͝ͅƠ̶̪̞͙͍̣̩͓̗̺̩̺̬̙̤̾͗̔͋ͅ"



There are many many options to use potatoes. If your town, city, or level of Hell has been experiencing a pumpkin shortage, you can use potatoes in lieu of pumpkins for Jack-o'-lanterns.

In conclusion, the potato is arguably the most useful vegetable. What can a cucumber do that a potato can't do better?
The Coroner
The Mystic
The Hitman
The Hierophant

Grey's Anatomy, Season 5, Episode 6, 3:17
User avatar
Cabohhh
Amnesiac
Amnesiac
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2020 12:11 pm
Location: Hell, Fourth Floor, Pancaking Department.

Re: A Treatise on the Virtues of Solanum Tuberosum L.

Postby dolphina » Mon Aug 16, 2021 1:50 pm

what’s so special about edgar allen poe’s “ t̴̢̡̰̰̜̹̬͕̪͙̙͋̽͋͑̅͑̆̀̍͗̍̚̕͠h̴̨̻͈͚͈͍͓̳͓́̈́ͅé̴͓͍̞̙͊̑̔͂̌̄̓̉̐͆͜͝ ̸̧̛̦̭̱͙̺̙̺̬̖̫̠̰̝̽̂̏̄̅̋̓̓̚͠ç̸̡̼̩̗̖̰̩̞̘͓̺͋͋͂̈̾́́̃̂̚ǎ̵̡̢̢̟̠̟̯̬̏͊̇̂̈͌͂̀ş̶̥̩͚̘̤͍͖̼̮̹̾̋͆̑͆̈̽̍̾̇̃͗̍̕k̵͔̑̈́͛͂́͊͂̐̐ ̶̛̛̼͔͎̯͈͍̤̖̦̰͓͓̪͗̀͗͒̄̈́̈́̈́͐̓̏͜͠ͅo̵̠͓̱̘̰̲̻̾̀̀͜͠ͅf̴͇̥̺̰̯̤̫̣͚̬͈̲̘̊̍̓̈́̆̑͊̔́́̊̓̓͝ͅ ̷̟̬̟̈̽̄̀̀̉̈͑̎̆̎͝a̷̢̺͔͓̥͙͗̋̈́̐͑͛̑̋͋̂̐̔͌̕ͅm̸̠̙̩͓̪̞͖̂̈̓͋͆o̷͉̠͑͐̆̏̈́̐̉͘ṉ̶̢̣͚̙͚͓̞̣̰̌̈́̿̐̅̈̈́̋͂͗̒̍̌͝ṱ̸̕į̷̡͔́͐͌͋̍̎̾̓̄̚͘l̴̗͓͉͈͇̹̾͂ͅͅl̷̨̧̡̟̲̣̈́͑̔̑͋̎a̷͍͖̟̬̙͇̓̃͗ḑ̶̗̹͔̯̲͓͓̺̙͈̖̀̂̀̀̽͒̇́͠ő̷̢̱͖͔̜̘̤̮́̌̑͋̈́̄̓̋͝
Last edited by dolphina on Mon Aug 16, 2021 1:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hi. I'm Caleb, and you're watching Disney Channel.

vocaloid KAITO #1 fan


He/they pronouns. Trans rights! I have fifteen names and infinite anxiety. I am the transgender masculine.

PM me for my Discord!
I’m a self proclaimed anarchist, and a god of chaos (apparently).
My stinky FM Record
User avatar
dolphina
Blackmailer
Blackmailer
 
Posts: 1164
Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2020 1:33 pm
Location: Lighting fires in Fairview

Re: A Treatise on the Virtues of Solanum Tuberosum L.

Postby Descender » Mon Aug 16, 2021 1:52 pm

dolphina wrote:what’s so special about edgar allen poe’s “the cask of amontillado”

DONT SAY IT IN A WAY THE MORTALS CAN UNDERSTAND
Possibly known as TodaysStory
TG Frequenter and Host
she/her
User avatar
Descender
Role Ideas Moderator
Role Ideas Moderator
 
Posts: 1501
Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2016 4:55 am
Location: NEO!

Re: A Treatise on the Virtues of Solanum Tuberosum L.

Postby dolphina » Mon Aug 16, 2021 1:57 pm

Descender wrote:
dolphina wrote:what’s so special about edgar allen poe’s “ t̴̢̡̰̰̜̹̬͕̪͙̙͋̽͋͑̅͑̆̀̍͗̍̚̕͠h̴̨̻͈͚͈͍͓̳͓́̈́ͅé̴͓͍̞̙͊̑̔͂̌̄̓̉̐͆͜͝ ̸̧̛̦̭̱͙̺̙̺̬̖̫̠̰̝̽̂̏̄̅̋̓̓̚͠ç̸̡̼̩̗̖̰̩̞̘͓̺͋͋͂̈̾́́̃̂̚ǎ̵̡̢̢̟̠̟̯̬̏͊̇̂̈͌͂̀ş̶̥̩͚̘̤͍͖̼̮̹̾̋͆̑͆̈̽̍̾̇̃͗̍̕k̵͔̑̈́͛͂́͊͂̐̐ ̶̛̛̼͔͎̯͈͍̤̖̦̰͓͓̪͗̀͗͒̄̈́̈́̈́͐̓̏͜͠ͅo̵̠͓̱̘̰̲̻̾̀̀͜͠ͅf̴͇̥̺̰̯̤̫̣͚̬͈̲̘̊̍̓̈́̆̑͊̔́́̊̓̓͝ͅ ̷̟̬̟̈̽̄̀̀̉̈͑̎̆̎͝a̷̢̺͔͓̥͙͗̋̈́̐͑͛̑̋͋̂̐̔͌̕ͅm̸̠̙̩͓̪̞͖̂̈̓͋͆o̷͉̠͑͐̆̏̈́̐̉͘ṉ̶̢̣͚̙͚͓̞̣̰̌̈́̿̐̅̈̈́̋͂͗̒̍̌͝ṱ̸̕į̷̡͔́͐͌͋̍̎̾̓̄̚͘l̴̗͓͉͈͇̹̾͂ͅͅl̷̨̧̡̟̲̣̈́͑̔̑͋̎a̷͍͖̟̬̙͇̓̃͗ḑ̶̗̹͔̯̲͓͓̺̙͈̖̀̂̀̀̽͒̇́͠ő̷̢̱͖͔̜̘̤̮́̌̑͋̈́̄̓̋͝

DONT SAY IT IN A WAY THE MORTALS CAN UNDERSTAND

oh ok sorry
Hi. I'm Caleb, and you're watching Disney Channel.

vocaloid KAITO #1 fan


He/they pronouns. Trans rights! I have fifteen names and infinite anxiety. I am the transgender masculine.

PM me for my Discord!
I’m a self proclaimed anarchist, and a god of chaos (apparently).
My stinky FM Record
User avatar
dolphina
Blackmailer
Blackmailer
 
Posts: 1164
Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2020 1:33 pm
Location: Lighting fires in Fairview

Re: A Treatise on the Virtues of Solanum Tuberosum L.

Postby ICECLIMBERS » Mon Aug 16, 2021 5:37 pm

Cabohhh wrote:What can a cucumber do that a potato can't do better?

Spoiler: Image

in the distance the shelves
rode three shadows of blue
User avatar
ICECLIMBERS
[Forum Mafia VII] Winner
[Forum Mafia VII] Winner
 
Posts: 3080
Joined: Wed Nov 19, 2014 11:50 pm
Location: Eastern Time

Re: A Treatise on the Virtues of Solanum Tuberosum L.

Postby Cabohhh » Mon Aug 16, 2021 9:47 pm

ICECLIMBERS wrote:
Cabohhh wrote:What can a cucumber do that a potato can't do better?



I don't think getting yelled at by an anthropomorphic stalk of asparagus is something limited to cucumbers
The Coroner
The Mystic
The Hitman
The Hierophant

Grey's Anatomy, Season 5, Episode 6, 3:17
User avatar
Cabohhh
Amnesiac
Amnesiac
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2020 12:11 pm
Location: Hell, Fourth Floor, Pancaking Department.

Re: A Treatise on the Virtues of Solanum Tuberosum L.

Postby Cabohhh » Mon Aug 16, 2021 9:49 pm

dolphina wrote:what’s so special about edgar allen poe’s “ t̴̢̡̰̰̜̹̬͕̪͙̙͋̽͋͑̅͑̆̀̍͗̍̚̕͠h̴̨̻͈͚͈͍͓̳͓́̈́ͅé̴͓͍̞̙͊̑̔͂̌̄̓̉̐͆͜͝ ̸̧̛̦̭̱͙̺̙̺̬̖̫̠̰̝̽̂̏̄̅̋̓̓̚͠ç̸̡̼̩̗̖̰̩̞̘͓̺͋͋͂̈̾́́̃̂̚ǎ̵̡̢̢̟̠̟̯̬̏͊̇̂̈͌͂̀ş̶̥̩͚̘̤͍͖̼̮̹̾̋͆̑͆̈̽̍̾̇̃͗̍̕k̵͔̑̈́͛͂́͊͂̐̐ ̶̛̛̼͔͎̯͈͍̤̖̦̰͓͓̪͗̀͗͒̄̈́̈́̈́͐̓̏͜͠ͅo̵̠͓̱̘̰̲̻̾̀̀͜͠ͅf̴͇̥̺̰̯̤̫̣͚̬͈̲̘̊̍̓̈́̆̑͊̔́́̊̓̓͝ͅ ̷̟̬̟̈̽̄̀̀̉̈͑̎̆̎͝a̷̢̺͔͓̥͙͗̋̈́̐͑͛̑̋͋̂̐̔͌̕ͅm̸̠̙̩͓̪̞͖̂̈̓͋͆o̷͉̠͑͐̆̏̈́̐̉͘ṉ̶̢̣͚̙͚͓̞̣̰̌̈́̿̐̅̈̈́̋͂͗̒̍̌͝ṱ̸̕į̷̡͔́͐͌͋̍̎̾̓̄̚͘l̴̗͓͉͈͇̹̾͂ͅͅl̷̨̧̡̟̲̣̈́͑̔̑͋̎a̷͍͖̟̬̙͇̓̃͗ḑ̶̗̹͔̯̲͓͓̺̙͈̖̀̂̀̀̽͒̇́͠ő̷̢̱͖͔̜̘̤̮́̌̑͋̈́̄̓̋͝


you dare question the great one

the great reckoning arrives, i can see it

it is near
The Coroner
The Mystic
The Hitman
The Hierophant

Grey's Anatomy, Season 5, Episode 6, 3:17
User avatar
Cabohhh
Amnesiac
Amnesiac
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2020 12:11 pm
Location: Hell, Fourth Floor, Pancaking Department.

Re: A Treatise on the Virtues of Solanum Tuberosum L.

Postby dolphina » Mon Aug 16, 2021 10:26 pm

Cabohhh wrote:
dolphina wrote:what’s so special about edgar allen poe’s “ t̴̢̡̰̰̜̹̬͕̪͙̙͋̽͋͑̅͑̆̀̍͗̍̚̕͠h̴̨̻͈͚͈͍͓̳͓́̈́ͅé̴͓͍̞̙͊̑̔͂̌̄̓̉̐͆͜͝ ̸̧̛̦̭̱͙̺̙̺̬̖̫̠̰̝̽̂̏̄̅̋̓̓̚͠ç̸̡̼̩̗̖̰̩̞̘͓̺͋͋͂̈̾́́̃̂̚ǎ̵̡̢̢̟̠̟̯̬̏͊̇̂̈͌͂̀ş̶̥̩͚̘̤͍͖̼̮̹̾̋͆̑͆̈̽̍̾̇̃͗̍̕k̵͔̑̈́͛͂́͊͂̐̐ ̶̛̛̼͔͎̯͈͍̤̖̦̰͓͓̪͗̀͗͒̄̈́̈́̈́͐̓̏͜͠ͅo̵̠͓̱̘̰̲̻̾̀̀͜͠ͅf̴͇̥̺̰̯̤̫̣͚̬͈̲̘̊̍̓̈́̆̑͊̔́́̊̓̓͝ͅ ̷̟̬̟̈̽̄̀̀̉̈͑̎̆̎͝a̷̢̺͔͓̥͙͗̋̈́̐͑͛̑̋͋̂̐̔͌̕ͅm̸̠̙̩͓̪̞͖̂̈̓͋͆o̷͉̠͑͐̆̏̈́̐̉͘ṉ̶̢̣͚̙͚͓̞̣̰̌̈́̿̐̅̈̈́̋͂͗̒̍̌͝ṱ̸̕į̷̡͔́͐͌͋̍̎̾̓̄̚͘l̴̗͓͉͈͇̹̾͂ͅͅl̷̨̧̡̟̲̣̈́͑̔̑͋̎a̷͍͖̟̬̙͇̓̃͗ḑ̶̗̹͔̯̲͓͓̺̙͈̖̀̂̀̀̽͒̇́͠ő̷̢̱͖͔̜̘̤̮́̌̑͋̈́̄̓̋͝


you dare question the great one

the great reckoning arrives, i can see it

it is near

:)
Hi. I'm Caleb, and you're watching Disney Channel.

vocaloid KAITO #1 fan


He/they pronouns. Trans rights! I have fifteen names and infinite anxiety. I am the transgender masculine.

PM me for my Discord!
I’m a self proclaimed anarchist, and a god of chaos (apparently).
My stinky FM Record
User avatar
dolphina
Blackmailer
Blackmailer
 
Posts: 1164
Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2020 1:33 pm
Location: Lighting fires in Fairview

Re: A Treatise on the Virtues of Solanum Tuberosum L.

Postby Cabohhh » Tue Aug 17, 2021 9:06 pm

dolphina wrote::)


Dori me
Interimo ayapare, dorime
Ameno, ameno
Latire, latiremo
Dori me
Ameno
Omenare imperavi ameno
Dimere, dimere matiro
Matiremo, ameno
Omenare imperavi emunari
Ameno
Omenare imperavi emunari
Ameno
Ameno dore
Ameno dori me
Ameno dori me
Ameno dom
Dori me reo
Ameno dori me
Ameno dori me
Dori me am
Ameno
Ameno
Ameno
Omenare imperavi ameno
Dimere dimere martiro
Martiremo, ameno
Omenare imperavi emunari
Ameno
Omenare imperavi emunari
Ameno
Ameno dore
Ameno dori me
Ameno dori me
Ameno dom
Dori me reo
Ameno dori me
Ameno dori me
Dori me am
Ameno, ameno
Ameno dori me
Ameno dori me
Dori me, dori me, dori me...
Ameno
Ameno dore
Ameno dori me
Ameno dori me
Ameno dom
Dori me reo
Ameno dori me
Ameno dori me
Ameno, ameno
Ameno
Ameno dori me
Ameno
Ameno dori me
Ameno dom
Dori me reo, ameno
Ameno dori me
Ameno, ameno dori me
The Coroner
The Mystic
The Hitman
The Hierophant

Grey's Anatomy, Season 5, Episode 6, 3:17
User avatar
Cabohhh
Amnesiac
Amnesiac
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2020 12:11 pm
Location: Hell, Fourth Floor, Pancaking Department.


Return to The Lounge

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 14 guests