Jesus was a zombie

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Jesus was a zombie

Postby KriegVonBlitz » Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:58 pm

So you know how the bible says the dead will rise again when the world ends? Well Jesus rose from the dead. He was only the first zombie. Secretly the world has been ending for years

Do with this what you will.
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby RhazhBash » Mon Feb 08, 2016 4:48 pm

Can confirm that I am not actually a zombie.
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby oliy » Mon Feb 08, 2016 7:35 pm

zom·bie
ˈzämbē/Submit
noun
1.
a corpse said to be revived by witchcraft, especially in certain African and Caribbean religions.

Was it witchcraft?
NO
IT WAS MAGIC


Also, he is not a drink:
2.
a tall mixed drink consisting of several kinds of rum, liqueur, and fruit juice.

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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby Waddledee789123 » Mon Feb 08, 2016 8:53 pm

oliy wrote:zom·bie
ˈzämbē/Submit
noun
1.
a corpse said to be revived by witchcraft, especially in certain African and Caribbean religions.

Was it witchcraft?
NO
IT WAS MAGIC


Also, he is not a drink:
2.
a tall mixed drink consisting of several kinds of rum, liqueur, and fruit juice.


Yeah because the zombies in Plants vs Zombies or Call of Duty were totally made from witches right?
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby KriegVonBlitz » Tue Feb 09, 2016 12:12 am

oliy wrote:zom·bie
ˈzämbē/Submit
noun
1.
a corpse said to be revived by witchcraft, especially in certain African and Caribbean religions.

Was it witchcraft?
NO
IT WAS MAGIC


Also, he is not a drink:
2.
a tall mixed drink consisting of several kinds of rum, liqueur, and fruit juice.

And you are implying that witchcraft is not magic?
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby oliy » Tue Feb 09, 2016 12:18 am

KriegVonBlitz wrote:
oliy wrote:zom·bie
ˈzämbē/Submit
noun
1.
a corpse said to be revived by witchcraft, especially in certain African and Caribbean religions.

Was it witchcraft?
NO
IT WAS MAGIC


Also, he is not a drink:
2.
a tall mixed drink consisting of several kinds of rum, liqueur, and fruit juice.

And you are implying that witchcraft is not magic?

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/magic?s=t
See? It's only a minor synonym ;)

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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby GladeOS » Tue Feb 09, 2016 6:31 am

So...zombies...and...religion is going first isn't it :3
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby KriegVonBlitz » Tue Feb 09, 2016 8:04 pm

GladeOS wrote:So...zombies...and...religion is going first isn't it :3


yes. yes it is.
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby ibney000 » Wed Feb 10, 2016 1:50 am

Well Laserus rose before Jesus so....
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby SpyderCanopus » Wed Feb 10, 2016 4:29 am

God and his Angels are technically aliens.

Since they aren't FROM earth, they are extra terrestrials.
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby ibney000 » Wed Feb 10, 2016 10:54 am

SpyderCanopus wrote:God and his Angels are technically aliens.

Since they aren't FROM earth, they are extra terrestrials.


They don't have corporeal bodies...

Undead Jesus have you ever even read the bible guys?
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby GaaraOfDaFunk » Wed Feb 10, 2016 1:26 pm

ibney000 wrote:Well Laserus rose before Jesus so....


Along with 2 others if I recall correctly... one of them being a girl (or maybe that is healing the blind...)
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby ibney000 » Wed Feb 10, 2016 3:38 pm

GaaraOfDaFunk wrote:
ibney000 wrote:Well Laserus rose before Jesus so....


Along with 2 others if I recall correctly... one of them being a girl (or maybe that is healing the blind...)


I think you are talking about when the girl was attacked by demons and he healed her. I do remember her being stated as dead though. As the parents were weeping or something before Jesus said to get up. I would have to look it up.
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby ChubbyMooshroom9 » Fri Feb 12, 2016 9:30 am

ibney000 wrote:
GaaraOfDaFunk wrote:
ibney000 wrote:Well Laserus rose before Jesus so....


Along with 2 others if I recall correctly... one of them being a girl (or maybe that is healing the blind...)


I think you are talking about when the girl was attacked by demons and he healed her. I do remember her being stated as dead though. As the parents were weeping or something before Jesus said to get up. I would have to look it up.


She wasn't dead, but it was kind of like an irreversible coma and Jesus healed her.
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Re: Jesus was a zombie

Postby GaaraOfDaFunk » Fri Feb 12, 2016 12:10 pm

ChubbyMooshroom9 wrote:
ibney000 wrote:
GaaraOfDaFunk wrote:Along with 2 others if I recall correctly... one of them being a girl (or maybe that is healing the blind...)


I think you are talking about when the girl was attacked by demons and he healed her. I do remember her being stated as dead though. As the parents were weeping or something before Jesus said to get up. I would have to look it up.


She wasn't dead, but it was kind of like an irreversible coma and Jesus healed her.


Ah ok, I am a little rusty. Prolly won't be the last time I am wrong.
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