My First Novel (Sector Eight)

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My First Novel (Sector Eight)

Postby TheNinja476 » Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:33 am

This is the first stab that I have taken to write something for fun. I've only written a chapter so far.
The link to the novel: Sector Eight
Could I get any critiques? I don't mind how harsh you are, I know that my writing skills are wack.
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Re: My First Novel (Sector Eight)

Postby Painkillerz » Thu Nov 05, 2015 3:54 pm

Looks like it could be interesting. My one problem with it is that if there was that much blood everywhere, then how is he (the boyfriend) still alive, much less explaining what happened.
Spoiler:
VucubCaquix wrote:Our juice was already diluted with water. More water has been added, but the juice has long been too watery for a parrot like me to drink. And thus, nothing was truly changed.
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